Care for single missionaries

Single missionaries have made great contributions to the spread of the gospel throughout the years. From Jesus and the Apostle Paul to the likes of Mary Slessor, Gladys Aylward and many more in our day, the cause of God’s glory among the nations has significantly been advanced through the ministry of single people. With this in mind, we ought to consider how to care for singles today, which is really an integration of the Great Commandment – love.

There are various categories of singles; namely, the never or not-yet-married, the divorced, separated, widowed or single parent, who could either be male or female. This becomes helpful for the sending agency or church to establish the right approach to care for each group and their unique needs. Many privileges come with serving as a single missionary, including devotion to the Lord, freedom and flexibility, and being involved in his service fully without distractions.

The need for care

Care for singles in most African sending churches and agencies is in its initial developmental stages. The married seem to get more recognition and respect, opportunities to serve and conferences, leaving singles feeling left out. Consequently, some lies that single people go with to the field have been perpetuated by our cultures and the Church – that singlehood is a form of ‘disability’ or ‘incompleteness’. Missionary life may look like a good place to get away from all that pressure but unfortunately, adjusting to a new environment only reveals what lies underneath the surface.

Various challenges are unique to singles in the mission field including loneliness, travelling and living alone, unmet expectations, and real or imagined fears. Where there is communal living, singles are expected to give up choice housing and take on more responsibilities since they do not have kids. In seeking to foster relationships, conflicts and suspicions may arise with the married. There’s also the expectation to live meagrely with budgeted financial support, misunderstanding from extended family, and the dread of entering retirement alone. Such are real issues facing singles. The Word of God can be a source of solace and strength to thrive. Weeding out false beliefs with God’s truth and being grounded in the Father’s love will liberate singles for a life of joy and contentment.

Care in practice

The challenges singles face should never outweigh the blessings of serving God in the field. In providing care, singles should be affirmed and helped to appreciate the season they are in and to thrive in it. Self-care practices that benefit both the mental and physical wellbeing of singles are encouraged. One should continue to grow and develop or learn new skills and hobbies at a personal level which will also be useful for the future when one leaves the field.

Visiting singles in the field to fellowship, listen, and debrief them, and helping them plan for their breaks and where to stay are key ways of caring for single missionaries. Encourage them to have support groups to share experiences, inspiration and to stay motivated and focused. This develops into a community for accountability and prayer support. Offer specialized training, coaching, and support to help them navigate their unique challenges and avoid burdening them with unrealistic expectations and pressures. Care providers should act as advocates for singles within their organizations and churches.

Indeed, the gift of singleness as Apostle Paul calls it, if properly stewarded, has the potential to tremendously draw us nearer to the completion of the Great Commission.