Singleness in missions: the blessings and the burdens (shorter version)

In recent decades, evangelical Christians have been fighting to protect the sanctity of marriage and family in a world seeking to undermine both. One unfortunate consequence has been an elevation of marriage and the family from being God’s good gifts to becoming the goal of the Christian life, creating unnecessary difficulties for the single missionary. Singles include the never-married, the widowed, and the divorced. When it comes to missionary work, married couples are often the ideal. candidates.

A married pastor once volunteered to take me to several villages to mobilize other pastors for missions. In one place, the pastor was away and my guide suggested I speak to his wife. When she realized I was unmarried, she swept me up and down with her eyes and asked me to go get married first because without a husband, I had no ministry. Only heaven knows the damage those words did. I lost every desire to mingle with others and wanted to quit the field but I couldn’t face my leaders with the real reason.

Biblical foundations

In the Old Testament, Israel’s relationship with God was based on his covenant with Abraham and his descendants. Marriage was therefore vital as the context for the birth of these descendants. Singleness was considered abnormal, as the realm of eunuchs, prostitutes, and slaves. Unfortunately, this remains the stance of many church leaders. While in a church service once, the pastor spoke so derogatorily of the never-married state that I regretted visiting.

The New Testament, however, speaks about chaste singleness as something inherently good. In Matthew 22:29, Jesus reveals that earthly marriage will become redundant in heaven. Earthly marriage points to the union between Christ and the Church, while earthly singleness reflects the wonderful heavenly relationships that we, as individuals, will have with one another. So, both godly marriage and godly singleness are good because they point us towards different aspects of the heavenly reality that awaits us. This truth liberated me! Godly singleness also reveals that what matters is not just creating biological heirs, but spiritual heirs who are reborn.

Opportunities and challenges

Singleness can be a unique opportunity for spiritual growth, fruitfulness, and service to God and others without distraction. Single missionaries have greater freedom to travel, relocate, and control their finances and decisions. They can take risks to pursue new opportunities and territories for the Lord, but life for them can be challenging.

Single missionaries face societal stigma while married couples receive recognition, respect, and validation. Single missionaries may feel lonely, isolated, and disconnected, while couples can provide emotional support and companionship for each other. Some churches prioritize marriage and family, leaving single people feeling marginalized, excluded or frustrated.

Many single missionaries choose to remain single for the sake of the Kingdom (Matt. 19:12). Some would like to marry but that is yet to happen. Some fear the challenge of supporting a family financially. Others may have experienced childhood sexual abuse and cannot bear the physical or psychological intimacy that marriage entails.

Some churches and mission agencies view singleness as a “problem” to be solved, rather than a valid and valuable state in life. They lack adequate support or resources for the unique needs of single missionaries because they assume they will eventually get married. Some place unrealistic pressures on single missionaries, such as expecting them to be readily available to serve all the time.

Supporting singles

As the church seeks to fulfil the Great Commission, it is imperative that we recognize, empower, and unleash the potential of single people in missions. Acknowledge and appreciate their contributions and strengths. Understand their challenges and advocate for their needs and concerns. Include them in leadership and decision-making. Love your single Christian friends by making your family outward looking and including them in it. We can all make life easier for single missionaries as they serve in challenging and hard-to-reach areas.  You can read a longer version of this article at https://afrigo.org/articles/singleness-in-missions-the-blessings-and-burdens-full-version/.