Called: Francis Kuntenga – celibate for the gospel

Most Christians are excited about a strong and handsome young man who decides to become a missionary and preach the gospel until he is still single at age forty-three. The questions start subtly in his late twenties, become direct in his thirties, and then aggressive in his forties: “Are you normal? Are you okay? Are you a man? Maybe you are ‘dead’? We have remedies to help you” – these are questions Francis received from his tribesmen. Although a heartbreak influenced his choice to remain celibate for the sake of the gospel, he now considers this a great opportunity for missionary work.

I am a Malawian missionary and for the past 20 years, I’ve been serving under SIM among the Yao people group in Mozambique. My ministry involves trauma healing and counselling, agriculture, evangelism and discipleship. On a typical day, I run the Foundations for Farming ministry project, and later in the afternoon, I go for visitation and discipleship. On Mondays, I do property maintenance which includes carpentry and joinery work. We have church service on Wednesday afternoons and Tuesdays are my rest days. My life is pretty fun!

My journey into missions started early. At just 16 years old, I was already pastoring my youth church. My pastor chose me to attend a missions conference our church was participating in and that event lit in me a fire for missions. Six months later, that fire received more fuel at another conference and I made the decision to become a full-time missionary.

Across the world, many churches encourage those called into ministry to marry. In Africa, the pressure is even greater, and sometimes, our social expectations influence our theology. But biblically, we have examples of how powerful a single life devoted to God can be – Jesus Christ himself and Apostle Paul.

Remaining single has opened doors for me to share the gospel in war zones like the DRC and northern Nigeria; places I couldn’t have taken a wife or family. Being single allows me to go without looking back or worrying about the safety of loved ones. I also have more freedom to interact with people, including the opposite sex, without being questioned by a spouse – a big issue in southern Africa. Plus, I decide when to go home.

Singleness in missions isn’t without challenges. Loneliness and not having anyone to talk to at certain times is the biggest one. It can lead to stress, depression and eventual burnout. My interactions with women are sometimes viewed with suspicion, which can affect how I’m received in some communities. But I’ve learned to lean on God and seek counsel and encouragement from other missionaries.

One of the things I’m most grateful for is my support system. My church, together with my mission agency, makes sure that I get my stipends on time. They encourage me to take time for vacations and rest. During a particularly rough season of burnout, they hired a psychologist to help me navigate it. When I watch the Sunday service online, I hear my name mentioned in prayers at my home church. Church members also check up on me and some have plans of visiting me this year. That kind of support is priceless and encourages me to do so much as a single missionary.

Lust and sexual temptation are real challenges single missionaries face. I have managed to keep myself from falling by cultivating a deep relationship with God through prayer and studying the Scriptures, setting clear boundaries with the opposite sex, having priorities that align with my mission values, and surrounding myself with trusted people who hold me accountable. I don’t overlook my emotional and physical needs; I find spiritual ways to meet them.

Marriage shouldn’t be used as a quick fix. I feel strongly about churches compelling young people to marry simply because they’re passionate about ministry. I know a youth pastor who was pushed by his senior pastor into marrying a very zealous young lady. Three months into the marriage, the pastor was invited to dinner and the youth pastor asked him to take the wife back, saying they couldn’t continue with the marriage. The Church needs to recognize that not everyone is called to marry. Some, like me, are called to serve God more effectively in our singleness and that should be celebrated, not questioned.

To singles considering full-time missions, count the cost. Prepare for the hard days because they will come. It will get lonely and heavy, and sometimes you’ll be tempted to give up, but trust in Jesus. Find strength in the stories of others, and surround yourself with a supportive church or organization. The freedom and flexibility of singleness can take you on some real mission adventures, and I believe that heaven rejoices when we fully give ourselves to that calling.

Prayer points

1. 1. In Mozambique, a work permit costs almost $1,000 yearly; a huge amount for an African missionary. Pray that the Lord will open doors to cater for this.
   2. I live about 96km away from the town and from some social privileges. Pray for security and well-being for me.
   3. Pray that as we share the gospel through our initiatives, more souls will come to know Jesus Christ.